I’ve Been…

I’ve been meaning to write .. really! It’s just that I’ve been busy .. well .. living. I’ve simply been enjoying the days as they flow by me – or as I flow through them – its hard to know what to say about our relationship with time.

I’ve been listening to JJ Cale and Eric Clapton’s Road to Escondido. Wow! Definitely worth a listen … many listens in fact.

I’ve been walking every morning and every evening. I see myself growing stronger each day, I have more stamina each day. This is such a relief, to see that the flare-up that was limiting me just a few weeks ago has eased so that I can again move through my days with minimal pain and plenty of energy. My friend Connee has recently begun practicing Bikram yoga – too intense for me, I don’t want to work that hard to feel good – but what we’re both loving is the way we, as mature (ripe) women, are falling in love with our bodies again. Connee talks about being a “loose-hipped Colorado girl”. I find myself loving my returning strength – and the timeless feeling that, given the opportunity, I could walk forever and find so much peace in the simple action of foot falling against and rising from the earth.

I’ve been settling into a new level of writing. The words flow more easily each day, and I see myself reflected in the writing. I have found my voice. I realize this will shift and change as the years move on – and I look forward to that – but I’m also clear that I have discovered my first real sense of author-ity. On days when I have trouble finding the rhythm, finding the belief in myself as a writer – I now have a body of work to look back on. I will, from time to time, sit and re-read my own words – and I find that I derive a great deal of pleasure from them. That is truly a gift.

I’ve been waking in the morning feeling happy. Those of you who know me well will understand that this is a radical change for me. Waking in the mornings has been a challenge for me since childhood when my mother would send my sisters in to shake me awake, again and again, and they all knew they’d have to leap back quickly from the leg that would invariably lash out. Waking did not equal happiness. Even if I went to sleep having a good day, in a good mood – the mornings would still be difficult. Now, no matter what may have occurred the day before, I start out each day feeling … Happy. Content. Grateful.

I’ve been dreaming poems – and remembering them when I wake. Here’s a short one:

Perhaps death
escorts us across
the chasm of
each change.

I like it. It reminds me of the poems from the book by Jim Harrison and Ted Kooser, Braided Creek.

I’ve been working on the next issue of the BSB Arts Newsletter. I finished my last interview last night with Jane Richlovsky who will be showing at the Venus in a few weeks. She’ll also be staying with me over the National Folk Festival. You should definitely check out the link to Jane’s work, its powerful, muscular and yet still delicate art. Look for the newsletter in the next week to see what she has to say.

I’ve been enjoying living at my own pace, in my own rhythms. This little space of summer has been a real gift to me. I’ve left behind the crazy-making work atmosphere of the hospital, and I’ll be moving into a whole new set of imposed schedules and work once school starts. This, I’m beginning to look forward to. It draws closer now – just about six weeks or so. I realized that I couldn’t care less about the degree, the piece of paper that I expect I’ll walk away with after two years. What I do care about is the skill set that I’ll learn, and the community of teachers and students that I know will change me and my life, yet again.

I’ve been truly satisfied with my life as it unfolds to me each day – the days that challenge me and the days where I drift along the stream, merrily merrily. May the same be so for you.