Loss

I’ve had word over the past few weeks of friends and acquaintances who have died … after long illnesses … after sudden accidents.  I had a phone call this evening from a friend to let me know that someone who we both knew had died earlier today – suddenly.  A young man, late 30s, two children.

It saddens me to lose these good souls – people who have clear intent to do good in the world – despite … or because of … their own human frailties.

This news is harder to hear in the darkening winter days.  We look for light at this time, and to be draped with more darkness brings out my sorrow … and my anger.

Losing Stephen so suddenly, at such a young age, has given me a perspective on the preciousness of the moment that many do not have … or do not choose to have.  Hearing this news today, I wanted to go door to door to visit people I care about and kick them soundly in the ass.  Shake them a little and say “Don’t you get it?  Our time here is uncertain – is this how you truly want to live your life?!”

I’ve been talking with friends over the past few days about people we care about who engage in activities that are so risky it’s clear that they are chasing after some kind of traumatic event.  It seems that they are looking for the worst to happen so that they have a good and clear reason to change their behavior.  Crazy.

I know that as I grow older, these phone calls will come more often, that I will lose more good souls from my life.  I’m not afraid of death – my own or those I care for – but oh, I am afraid of an unlived life.