Performing

I’ve never thought of myself as a performer – not so comfortable in front of crowds – not really needing/wanting the approval of others.  As a writer, a poet, even in my limited capacity as a musician – I’m mostly doing it for me – for the satisfaction that I feel in the creative process – and the audience is secondary.

Writing this blog, I think, has begun to change that.  I’m not writing for me most of the time – I’m writing to communicate somehow with you – whoever you may be – and of the ones I know – you’re a really diverse group of people.  Yet, you come to find something in common through reading these words – many, many words – and then you go off into your own lives – changed in some small way.

Last night was my third poetry palooza and it was a performance, for the first time.  I had four poems (I’ll put them in the “my poems” section) and my friend Dory played his native american flute as an accompaniment/enhancement of my words.  Interestingly, my performance was less about the audience than it was about the gentle conversation between Dory and me.  I found myself smiling quite alot.  I want to do more of it!

I received compliments last night – but – we poets all compliment one another – sometimes we’re complimenting the way the poems have moved us – and sometimes we’re complimenting the willingness to expose the creative self.

This morning I took a quick walk on the trail to wake myself up and get ready for a load of work this weekend.  About halfway down, a young woman was jogging with her dog.  She slowed, greeted me, and then stopped me.  She had been at the palooza last night – she recognized me! – and spoke with me a few minutes about how much she appreciated my performance.  Wow!  So cool.  I encouraged her to join us next time – and to consider doing some of her poems at our monthly open mic nights. She was part of a diverse audience coming together to listen to others – and she was one of those who went off into her own life – changed in some way.

Just before I saw her, I had written a new poem in my mind – I’m already getting ready for the next palooza.